


Dom

by russomaha



Category: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Genre: (but not really), (implied) - Freeform, Crack, Dom/sub, Gen, Humor, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 21:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/russomaha/pseuds/russomaha
Summary: On how Jupiter discovers space-Tumblr.





	Dom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MorganWolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganWolf/gifts).



> Thank you for the mental image of hog-tied Stinger. By _Caine_ , of all people. The things you do to me…

 

Jupiter sucks at giving names. How do you come up with beautiful-sounding words like _Orous_ , _Cerise,_ _Seraphi, Kalique_ or _Balem_? Well, maybe not _Balem_. _Balem_ is most certainly not beautiful, _at all_. She recalls the thick copper-hued main, the golden freckles scattered over luminous pale skin, the elegant, seemingly endless fingers, the long thin toes of his bare feet, bone structure on blatant display, those atrociously obscene lips –

Err, where was she? Oh, right, the names.

 _Caine_ , on the other hand, is certainly beautiful. A bit too Biblical for her taste, but there’s that _e_ at the end, so she’s okay with it.

As long as he doesn’t happen to have had a brother named _Abele_.

She suspects that the sucking-at-giving-names trait runs in the family. Who the hell would name their daughter _Jupe?!_

As Queen, she is often expected to name things – distressingly often. Someone discovers some little trifle – like a new planet, for example – and, bam, _Your Majesty, would you do us the honour?_ Then she has to wrack her brain _for hours_ trying to come up with something that doesn’t sound like an elephant fart.

She couldn’t help but wince, recalling that one occasion when she’d given a city a sonorous name only to find out – _months later_ – that it meant _a brothel_ in the local dialect.

The citizens weren’t complaining, though. They took it as a sound business plan, and the city has been booming ever since.

So, Jupiter’s not surprised to hear Kiza snicker as the queen addresses her recently named chamber presence, “Hey, Dom, switch on the lights, would you?”

“Are you calling you chamber presence _Dom?!_ ” Kiza’s face is bright red with laughter and something else, something that feels vaguely ominous.

Jupiter gets a sinking feeling that she’s fucked up again. _Royally_. “What’s wrong with that? I had to name it somehow. And my imagination has been sucked dry long ago. It just means _home_ in Russian. What did you think it meant?” she asks Kiza, eyeing the girl suspiciously.

Kiza, the traitor, just shakes her head mutely and keeps snickering.

Guess she’ll just have to space-google it later.

–––

And that is how Jupiter discovers space-Tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> More often than not, a vastly different term is used for “a dominant” in Russian. So it makes sense that Jupiter is confused. She didn’t have time to read fan fics while cleaning all those toilets.


End file.
